- your condom breaks
- you feel a lump on your breast
- your friends are ignoring you
- you’re stranded on an island
- you got rejected by a crush
- you get into a car accident
- you got stung by a bee/wasp
- you got fired from your job
- you’re in an earthquake
- your tattoo gets infected
- your house is on fire
- you’re lost in the woods
- you get arrested abroad
- you get robbed
- your partner cheated on you
- you’re on a ship that’s sinking
- you fall into ice
- you’re stuck in an elevator
- you hit a deer with your car
- you have food poisoning
- your pet passed away
- you fall off of a horse
- you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
- you have toxic shock syndrome
- your house has a gas leak
Rape culture doesn’t exist in the United States on any significant, meaningful level.
Sorry to disappoint you.
So when Stubenville happened, the whole town didn’t try to cover it up? Journalists didn’t call those rapists “nice…
I am sorry, but when someone is sold in the sex trade for a week then not much later gets raped by her boyfriend because “you’re not pure anymore anyway” THEN later is told she is a fucking slut for getting pregnant from said rape that boyfriend tries to they say was caused not by him and that he never touched her?
Everyone BELIEVED him. Even her mother knew her “daughter was loose”.
NEVER say in my presence that rape culture does not exist.
People should have been jailed over this.
Instead she was mocked by police officers.
Peers. Her own family.
IT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THAN YOU ARE COMFORTABLE TO ADMIT BECAUSE WE ARE SILENCED.
Or we wind up with drug/alcohol/ addiction issues
Or commit suicide.
Or lose track with reality.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
It’s not about sex - they have porn, they have as much fucking porn as they could possibly ask for
they have billboards and ads and primetime tv shows and hollywood movies and websites free videos magazines they have porn channels porn movies with sexy images of women
they have girls on websites who are paid to webcam with them
there are girls who post sexy pics of themselves online for them
none of this is enough, none of this is, at the bottom of it all, what they want
creepshots specifically says this isn’t enough - they don’t want pics of girls knowingly posing (i.e. giving consent)
they want to violate, they want to rape, they want to own every woman walking down the fucking street
they want your teenager daughter, they want your mom, they want you
when you don’t know it, when you can’t say no, when you’re on the bus, when you’re walking down the street, when you’re at the beach
they get off on your violation, they want more proof that women exist for them and them alone
it’s sexy because it’s embarrassing, humiliating; they say it themselves
this is rape culture in its purest form
because women saying yes on screen, women saying yes to their faces, saying yes on their computers, on their phones is not what they want
that’s not “hot” enough
what’s hot is violating your consent, what’s hot is demeaning you, what’s hot is owning a piece of you against your will
and they won’t stop until we are all pornography
Yup. This is what I say so much. It’s like why so many guys on OkCupid don’t just look for other girls who want hook ups when that’s what they want. They go after women who want relationships and say on our profiles we don’t want hook ups, and lie to us, pressure us, try to push or trick us into meeting them for a date so on the date they can try to get us to go back to their place. There’s so much stuff online teaching men how to do this too, as if there aren’t women who’d be okay with just sex. But for these guys it’s not just about that. They don’t want women with agency, women who are also using them for sex and would be interested in her own pleasure, they don’t want women they don’t feel that they’re in control of. They want to feel that they’re leading us, tricking us, and ultimately that they feel like they’ve accomplished something. You can even see it in the way “seduction” sites talk about women, the bragging that goes on in the comments. They don’t want a woman that says “sure, let’s fuck, and I like it this way and let’s negotiate our sexual pleasure”, they want to feel they turned the reluctant woman. They want to feel like they convinced us to do something we didn’t want to, or we don’t normally do. That’s why so many guys on OkC I run into have nearly blank profiles. Some of them have actually just outright said that if they put stuff then some women won’t be interested in them and they want to lie about their interests when they talk to us, so we think they’re a match. It’s not about meeting a woman with mutually compatable desires, it’s about making a woman who doesn’t want it, “want” it (or just making us have sex, for these guys rape seems like a legal technicality, if they can legally not be raping us it doesn’t matter if we really wanted it or just did it under pressure/coercion).
And the creepshots thing is the same. They don’t want porn given to them. They want to TAKE porn. They want to do something they KNOW we don’t want. Porn made for them is made by willing women who know men are going to look at them. This makes them feel less powerful and in control. Taking shots of us that we don’t want, that we don’t know are being taken, puts them back in the seat of the hunter, and back in control.
As the OP says, this is exactly rape culture. It’s a culture that tells men that they should TAKE sex, or sexual gratification, not have it given. That women have sexual power, and you’re in their power if you have to wait for them to “give” you something, that then they’re in control. This is also where the whole friendzone thing comes from, and all the “women have privilege because they can deny sex” narratives. In a patriarchal rape culture, consent is seen as assumed, and that women can say “no”, that men have to wait for a woman that says “yes” or has to consume porn of women who are making it for mass consumption and not just them, feels like charity, like we’re in control, or they’re being REALLY NICE by letting us “deny” them sex. They see sex as something they should have, and women are just putting barriers in their way, and backing off means they’ve failed, pushing past those barriers makes them a success and having “won” or “taken” something from the woman.
(With credit to summer-of-supervillainy for her thoughts about rape culture & helping me with the framing of that last paragraph)
The predator/prey metaphor is particularly telling. They’re not looking for a member of their own species who’s interested in doing the same thing they are. The bird mating dance comparisons are vastly overshadowed by the hunter or predator comparisons. They’re not looking for women who will choose them. They’re looking for prey, and only by defeating the prey and harming the prey do they get what they want.
In there world, there aren’t women who want to have sex with them and women who don’t want to have sex with them. There are just women who are easy to get, and women who are hard to get. Women’s role is that of an obstacle course, and the thing determining whether a man has sex with a woman isn’t what she wants, but whether he has the skill and endurance to get through her obstacles. And more obstacles just means his skill and stamina is greater, his obstacle-course feat is more impressive, and he achieves an more satisfactory underdog victory.
Women don’t get to consent or not consent. They just get to try their hardest to defend themselves. And the men are certain that at the end of the obstacle course is sex, they just need to figure out the best tactics to get it - through lying, manipulation, pressure, intimidation, or just grinding her down until she’s too tired and sick to fight. To this mindset, a woman’s consent (or a woman’s desires, humanity, and agency) is just another obstacle between him and sex.
This is rape culture.
tywinning asked you:
As a professor, may I ask you what you think about fanfiction?
I think fanfiction is literature and literature, for the most part, is fanfiction, and that anyone that dismisses it simply on the grounds that it’s derivative knows fuck-all about literature and needs to get the hell off my lawn.
Most of the history of Western literature (and probably much of non-Western literature, but I can’t speak to that) is adapted or appropriated from something else. Homer wrote historyfic and Virgil wrote Homerfic and Dante wrote Virgilfic (where he makes himself a character and writes himself hanging out with Homer and Virgil and they’re like “OMG Dante you’re so cool.” He was the original Gary Stu). Milton wrote Bible fanfic, and everyone and their mom spent the Middle Ages writing King Arthur fanfic. In the sixteenth century you and another dude could translate the same Petrarchan sonnet and somehow have it count as two separate poems, and no one gave a fuck. Shakespeare doesn’t have a single original plot—although much of it would be more rightly termed RPF—and then John Fletcher and Mary Cowden Clarke and Gloria Naylor and Jane Smiley and Stephen Sondheim wrote Shakespeare fanfic. Guys like Pope and Dryden took old narratives and rewrote them to make fun of people they didn’t like, because the eighteenth century was basically high school. And Spenser! Don’t even get me started on Spenser.
Here’s what fanfic authors/fans need to remember when anyone gives them shit: the idea that originality is somehow a good thing, an innately preferable thing, is a completely modern notion. Until about three hundred years ago, a good writer, by and large, was someone who could take a tried-and-true story and make it even more awesome. (If you want to sound fancy, the technical term is imitatio.) People were like, why would I wanna read something about some dude I’ve never heard of? There’s a new Sir Gawain story out, man! (As to when and how that changed, I tend to blame Daniel Defoe, or the Modernists, or reality television, depending on my mood.)
I also find fanfic fascinating because it takes all the barriers that keep people from professional authorship—barriers that have weakened over the centuries but are nevertheless still very real—and blows right past them. Producing literature, much less circulating it, was something that was well nigh impossible for the vast majority of people for most of human history. First you had to live in a culture where people thought it was acceptable for you to even want to be literate in the first place. And then you had to find someone who could teach you how to read and write (the two didn’t necessarily go together). And you needed sufficient leisure time to learn. And be able to afford books, or at least be friends with someone rich enough to own books who would lend them to you. Good writers are usually well-read and professional writing is a full-time job, so you needed a lot of books, and a lot of leisure time both for reading and writing. And then you had to be in a high enough social position that someone would take you seriously and want to read your work—to have access to circulation/publication in addition to education and leisure time. A very tiny percentage of the population fit those parameters (in England, which is the only place I can speak of with some authority, that meant from 500-1000 A.D.: monks; 1000-1500: aristocratic men and the very occasional aristocratic woman; 1500-1800: aristocratic men, some middle-class men, a few aristocratic women; 1800-on, some middle-class women as well).
What’s amazing is how many people who didn’t fit those parameters kept writing in spite of the constant message they got from society that no one cared about what they had to say, writing letters and diaries and stories and poems that often weren’t discovered until hundreds of years later. Humans have an urge to express themselves, to tell stories, and fanfic lets them. If you’ve got access to a computer and an hour or two to while away of an evening, you can create something that people will see and respond to instantly, with a built-in community of people who care about what you have to say.
I do write the occasional fic; I wish I had the time and mental energy to write more. I’ll admit I don’t read a lot of fic these days because most of it is not—and I know how snobbish this sounds—particularly well-written. That doesn’t mean it’s “not good”—there are a lot of reasons people read fic and not all of them have to do with wanting to read finely crafted prose. That’s why fic is awesome—it creates a place for all kinds of storytelling. But for me personally, now that my job entails reading about 1500 pages of undergraduate writing per year, when I have time to read for enjoyment I want it to be by someone who really knows what they’re doing. There’s tons of high-quality fic, of course, but I no longer have the time and patience to go searching for it that I had ten years ago.
But whether I’m reading it or not, I love that fanfiction exists. Because without people doing what fanfiction writers do, literature wouldn’t exist. (And then I’d be out of a job and, frankly, I don’t know how to do anything else.)
This song will improve your current emotional status by 200% I promise